3 Things Bridesmaids Teaches Us About Friendship
When the film Bridesmaids appeared in theaters, it was an instant hit. People called it the female Hangover, but I think that’s too limiting. The film stands on its own as a great piece of cinema and a heck of a fun movie to watch.
The film follows the story of a failed baker, Annie, who is invited to be the maid of honor for her best friend Lillian. The problem is that Lillian now has a new rich and seemingly perfect friend, Helen, who wants to plan the wedding herself and all of the events leading up to the wedding. Naturally, tensions reach a boiling point between Annie and Lillian and as a result Annie not only almost misses the wedding, but she almost loses her friendship with Lillian. Nevertheless, the two are able to reconcile and Annie ends up making Lillian’s wedding as her maid of honor.
What can you and I learn about friendship from this great movie?
- Our closest friendships will always be challenged at some point. Even though Annie grew up with Lillian and they were best friends, Helen also wanted to be Lillian’s best friend too. This made Annie extremely jealous and insecure, so much so that it almost cost Annie and Lillian their friendship – and Annie’s freedom. Because Annie couldn’t handle the challenge that Helen presented to her, she acted out and did a few unnecessary things that got her arrested and put a bad taste in Lillian’s mouth. Likewise in our own lives, our closest friendships will at some point be challenged by a third voice like Helen’s. This may not happen always or often, but when or if it does we will definitely know when our Helen arrives and starts taking up more time with our bestie. I remember a time this occurred in my own life and it is needless to say pretty awkward and uncomfortable. But just know that it does happen from time to time and that we don’t have to act out like Annie with jealousy or insecurity toward people like Helen who are friends with our friends.
- Our friends will not always like each other – and we don’t have to force them to. Annie and Helen didn’t like each other from the beginning, and that really bothered both of them. But you know who it didn’t bother? It didn’t bother Lillian, their mutual friend (who would prefer they get along but it wasn’t a prerequisite for her). Lillian was okay to have Annie fill a certain role in her life while Helen filled a different role in her life. Even though Annie and Helen wanted to have bigger roles, it wasn’t their decision – it was Lillian’s. In our own lives, we might have friends who may not like each other and we will have to see that we don’t necessarily have to try to make them like each other (even though that would be helpful). A friend of a friend is not always our friend – but, if we’re fortunate, they might be one day.
- We will have to give up our “friend ego” if our friend does get a new friend (or friends). Both Annie and Helen clearly had egos about their relationship with Lillian. In other words, they clearly had marked their turf with Lillian and they didn’t want each other – or anyone else – to get on that turf. However, that’s simply not realistic in real life. We will have to be more humble if our friends do get other friends and can’t be possessive of them or assume that we own them just because they’re our friends. They’re our friends because we get along with them and because we provide mutual value to each other’s lives – and if somebody else other than us provides value to their life, we should be happy about that, not upset.
Ultimately, Bridesmaids teaches us many great lessons about friendship. But 3 of the biggest are realizing that close friendships will be challenged from time to time; that our friends may not always like each other; and that we will have to be more humble if our friends do get new friends if we want them to be happy.
3 Things Jurassic Park Teaches Us About Man’s Hubris
3 Things Jurassic Park Teaches Us About Man’s Hubris
As a kid, Jurassic Park scared the bejesus out of me – and I loved it. Not only did the film gross hundreds of millions at the boss office, but it became one of my top 2 or 3 favorite Steven Spielberg films of all time.
A recap is probably not necessary, but in case you haven’t seen it in a while I’ll provide a brief one here. In the film, a crazy old entrepreneur invests in an exotic island to bring dinosaurs back to life. He wants to commercialize his island, so he flies out top paleontologists to certify that in fact his dinosaur creations are real and that it is safe for everyday consumers to visit the island. Of course, once the paleontologists arrive things go downhill very fast. The crazy old entrepreneur has not in fact provided a safe environment for people to visit and has done just the opposite: he has endangered the lives of everyone on the island, including the visiting paleontologists – and his own. Ultimately, he and the paleontologists survive but not before some wild encounters with some very hungry velociraptors.
What can you and I learn from this movie? Or more specifically, what can you and I learn about man’s hubris from this film? What warning signs is it giving us for our own lives and society?
- Jurassic Park shows us that man is capable of anything. The crazy old entrepreneur invested in the exotic dinosaur island because he had faith in not only his abilities but in the scientists’ he hired to engineer dinosaurs from scratch. Even though no animal had been cloned to this point in human history (not even a dog), the crazy old entrepreneur felt he could replicate the baddest – and most vicious – animals that have ever graced God’s green earth. For you and me, this shows us that we are truly capable of anything. There is literally no stopping our creativity, scientific genius, or tenacity if we want to achieve something badly enough. But just because we want something badly enough doesn’t mean we should go after it – as the crazy old entrepreneur learned.
- Jurassic Park shows us that, even if our ideas are morally or scientifically questionable, there will always be willing accomplices if the price is right. That is, no matter how strange, suspect, outlandish, or ethically preposterous our ideas are, we can always find people who will go along with them for enough money – or enough benefits. This crazy old entrepreneur wasn’t a scientist but he had something a few scientists wanted as much or more than they wanted to practice ethical science: cash. Likewise in our own lives, we see crazy ideas – be they technology projects or companies, movies, and the like – get going simply because those behind them were bought and paid for with lots and lots of money. This shows that we can sometimes go along for rides when we have no business going in the first place – just for a little bigger bank account.
- Jurassic Park shows that unintended consequences will be inevitable. One of the craziest parts of the exotic dinosaur island is that so few of the people there, including the crazy old entrepreneur, actually understood the potential ramifications of their actions if they didn’t go according to plan. And of course, things almost never go according to plan. In our society, I often find it very heartbreaking when I hear very smart people in Silicon Valley extolling the virtues of their technologies without so much as thinking of the potential downsides.
Of course, there are other lessons Jurassic Park can teach us about man’s hubris. But the film goes to show that we are hubristic to think that just because we are capable of anything – and just because we can pay people off to help us reach our crazy capabilities – doesn’t mean we always should.
3 Things It’s A Wonderful Life Teaches Us About Remaining Hopeful
3 Things It’s A Wonderful Life Teaches Us About Remaining Hopeful
It’s A Wonderful Life is not only one of the most beloved Christmas films of all time, it is one of the most beloved films of all time. The director of the film, Frank Capra, had just finished a stint in real life serving in World War 2 – he helped defeat the Nazi Propaganda machine by making pro USA films – and when he came back to Hollywood he made a decidely fitting film that encourages us to count our blessings (just like his war experience made him count his).
Here’s a quick recap of the film in case you haven’t seen it in a while. The movie follows George Bailey who is at his wits end and thinks it’s just about time to end his life after a series of unfortunate events occur causing him to potentially lose his family business. After these incidents, he takes himself to a bridge and tells God that he wishes he would have “never been born” as he sees himself as a total failure and loser. George is about to jump off the bridge just before his guardian angel, Clarence, suddenly intervenes and escorts him back to his hometown, Bedford Falls, to show him what life would have looked like if George in fact had never lived. After seeing that the town would have been a dramatically different – and worse – place without him, George realizes that maybe his life wasn’t so bad after all. Suddenly back at the bridge, George begs for his life back and God gives it to him.
What can you and I learn from George and It’s A Wonderful Life about remaining hopeful if we’re ever at our own wits end?
- We should remain hopeful because help often comes when we need it most. George, who thought that life was over after he lost money to save his family’s savings and loan business, felt the only option he had was to commit suicide. However, God had different plans and sent him his guardian angel to show him that his life was really just getting started (that, in fact, the best of his life was just getting started). Even though George was skeptical at first, he went along with Clarence (the angel) because somewhere in his heart he knew that he needed any kind of help he could get (deep down he knew he didn’t really want to commit suicide). Likewise in our own lives, whether we’re at our wits end like George or in some other dark situation we don’t see a way out of, we should have at least a smidgen of hope because our help could be on its way literally any time. It may not show up the way we expect it to, but it will show up if we’re only open-minded enough to both recognize and accept however it comes.
- We should remain hopeful because even if we don’t currently see how our lives have impacted other people, we should know that they have. Because of one bad break with his family’s business, George believed that his ENTIRE life was a failure and that everything he had ever done was worthless. Even though this wasn’t true, he couldn’t see past his negative circumstances to any of the good that he had ever done in his own life. But Clarence broke this wrong thinking by showing George all of the moments where he had done good to remind him that his life had in fact mattered and that, without it, things would have been much worse for the people that George loved the most. In our own lives, we sometimes question if what we’re doing actually matters – whether it actually makes a difference to anyone and whether we actually matter- and we should know that our lives do really in fact matter and make an important difference for others. Regardless of whether we know how our lives positively impact people right now, we should understand that they have made a difference even if our feelings don’t support this thought/reality 100% of the time.
- We should remain hopeful because we will always get a second chance. George got a second chance to live not just when the angel intervened, but many other times in his life too. After all, George could have lost his life in World War 2 (he was a war hero who lost his hearing) and could have had other moments of personal and professional failure, but he was given second chances whether he knew it or not. In your life and mine, we have had more second chances than we have realized and we may get more second chances in the future when we least expect them, which is why we should remain encouraged.
Ultimately, It’s A Wonderful Life teaches us that we should always be hopeful. Even if we don’t know how the dark moments in our lives are going to turn around, if we embrace that help can come when we least expect it; that our lives are really making a difference for others; and that we will get more second chances we will be well on our way to keeping a positive attitude no matter what life is throwing our way.
3 Things Invisible Man Teaches Us About Surviving A Crisis
3 Things Invisible Man Can Teaches Us About Surviving A Crisis
Blumhouse’s latest adaptation of the classic Invisible Man story became a runaway success. Although the film was only made for $7 million, it went on to earn over $134 million at the box office. Clearly a lot of people resonated with its message.
The movie follows a domestic abuse survivor named Cecilia who escapes from her controlling husband Adrian- who happens to be a tech genius millionaire who has created a suit that makes you invisible. After escaping, a shaken and traumatized Cecilia is told by her sister that Adrian is dead and can no longer threaten her. And that’s when the action heats up. Unbeknownst to Cecilia, Adrian is actually not dead and he has been stalking her while he wears his invisible suit and progressively making her life a living nightmare. Ultimately, she has to survive between saving her life or ending his.
For our purposes here, what can this film specifically teach us? What can we learn from Cecilia about survival in our own lives (whether or not we are currently facing a crisis)?
- To survive a crisis, we must face our fears. For Cecilia, she had no other choice. Because her ex was invisible she could either let him continue to terrorize her, give in to his demands (he wanted her to return to him), or take him head on. Although she contemplated giving in, she ultimately decided to face him – and her fear of losing her life – squarely in the face. For you and I, if we are going through a threatening situation we cannot run from it. It might be our instinct to get away or to hide or ignore what we’re going through, but ultimately we will have to make a tough decision at some point. Cecilia shows us that we should choose to face our fears as hard as they might be.
- To survive a crisis, we must understand that some people will not understand what we’re going through. Even though Cecilia was acting completely crazy – and exhibited all of the signs of being a domestic violence victim – her sister did not understand the mental and emotional turmoil she was going through. Even when Cecilia was framed by Adrian (he sent a fake e-mail to Cecilia’s sister e-mail from Cecilia that looked like Cecilia was being critical of her), Cecilia’s sister did not offer any love, support, or understanding. And she didn’t offer these things even though she knew Cecilia was struggling through some sort of crisis. Likewise in our own lives, sometimes the people closest to us will not understand what we’re going through and may not show up in the ways we think they should. Despite that, we have to continue pressing ahead to be overcomers.
- To survive a crisis, we have to outsmart the people or systems against us. Cecilia not only had Adrian against her, but she also had the state of California against her (because Adrian framed her for murder which is what convinved the state she was crazy). Even though Cecilia was innocent in all of this, she still had to develop a strategy to outwit the people and systems that were enemies in her life. For us, in a crisis there will either be people, systems, or forces that are not on our side that we will have to outmaneuver so that we can successfully survive.
Invisible Man ultimately teaches us many great lessons about survival. By showing us that we have to face our fears head on; that we have to understand that not everyone will believe or understand what we’re going through; and that we have to outsmart people or systems to survive a crisis this movie is a clear roadmap we can use to find victory in our own lives if we’re facing a challenging situation.
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